Thursday, July 29, 2010

Reason #253 That I Love Seattle

As you've probably read on various lunatic-fringe political blogs, the upcoming Senate Primary here in Washington is viewed as a barometer for the upcoming national midterm elections. Quite obviously, the Democrats are screwed, but people want to know just how screwed they are. If incumbent Democrat, Patty Murray, is unseated, it would surely signal an irreparable rift in the space-time continuum.

It's likely Murray will survive the Primary, but she will face a stiff challenge come November. Her prime adversary will probably be our state's perennial Republican also-ran, Dino Rossi. Seems Dino still hasn't recovered from his soul-crushing gubernatorial loss to Christine Gregoire in 2004, by a whopping 129 votes.

Unwilling to follow the more conventional path of heralded election loser, Al Gore (by gaining 30 pounds, growing a beard, going on a global quest to end climate change, winning an Academy Award, getting a divorce and "allegedly" molesting a masseuse), Dino reemerged from beneath his rock of despair in 2008 to challenge Gregoire to a rematch. Sadly for Dino "Two Times," Gregoire rode Barrack Obama's coattails to an easy victory.

Now that Obama's coattails couldn't carry an anorexic Smurf over a mud puddle, Dino has confidently thrown his hat into the Senate race. Perhaps Dino is a good citizen who feels a deep responsibility to lead. Or perhaps he just enjoys being beaten by women.

But Dino isn't the reason for this blog post.


The reason for this blog post, and reason #253 that I love Seattle, is the true candidate of change in this Senatorial election:

This is Goodspaceguy Nelson and, yes, he is a legitimate candidate in the Senate Primary.

Who is Goodspaceguy?

"I’m just some guy who has studied economics and who advocates unsabotaging our economy so that everyone who wants to work can have a choice of jobs.
And I’m just some guy who has studied astronomy who advocates getting our orbital space colonies started. You have already paid the money, but we don’t have the starter cololnies.
And I am also a life-long student who is also advocating that we do more research in Rejuvenation Science so that you and I might stay young longer."
Sounds completely reasonable to me... in a totally fucking insane way.

The one thing that troubles me about Goodspaceguy is his lack of confidence. Why not be "Greatspaceguy?" Have we not settled for good space guys for far too long? I believe it is time for you to become the GREAT space guy we all know you can be!

I intend to find out more about this ambassador of truth, and when I do, I shall share my knowledge with the masses.

Until then... stay tuned...